New West program wants to help those who have lost friends, loved ones to overdoses

Derek Graham wants people to take away one thing from our discussion of Purpose Society’s upcoming program, Grief on Arrival.

“You are not alone … it’s not easy, and things will never be the same when you’ve lost someone close, but it is possible. We’re here to help.”

Graham is the program’s coordinator; he’s getting ready to launch Grief on Arrival, meant to help those who have lost loved ones and friends due to an overdose. The program can be attended as little or as much as participants want to, there is no registration required, attendees can give pseudonyms, and there is no affiliation with any provincial health authority or law enforcement agency.

“The first purpose is to just provide a safe and welcoming space for people to make connections with others who are going through the similar experience of losing a loved one due to drug-related harms,” says Graham, who adds the second part of the program is helping people learn about their grief.

“When someone, say, passes from old age or an illness, friends and family really come together to support the bereaved. But that’s not necessarily the case when there’s a loss from drug toxicity,” he says. “Because of the social stigmatization around drug use, people don’t know how to react. Some people have very strong opinions about it, and it often results in the bereaved being completely alone and isolated in their pain.”

Along with the educational factor, there will be opportunities for attendees to connect with others who have experienced such loss. The group will meet twice a week: Thursdays outline information and tools around grief caused by a loss due to overdose, while Mondays open the floor for people to share their experiences.

“The stigmatization … is so ingrained in our society”

Lives continue to be lost to the toxic drug epidemic, with a health emergency declared in April of 2016. On Wednesday, the BC government noted that another 179 people died from toxic drugs in October. That works out to almost six people per day.

“Preliminary reporting from the BC Coroners Service shows that illicit drugs have caused the deaths of at least 1,827 British Columbians in the first 10 months of 2022,” a statement from BC’s Public Safety and Solicitor General reads.

Dying from toxic drugs is now the number one cause of unnatural death in this province, and are second only to cancers overall. By breakdown based on health authority, the highest number of deaths are in the Fraser Health region—which New Westminster is a part of—and the Vancouver Coastal Health region. In 2022, Fraser Health saw 547 deaths, while Vancouver Coastal had a total of 511. The two combined make up 58% of the deaths in BC this year.

While Graham feels like things are improving when it comes to better understanding the impacts of addiction, there’s still a long way to go.

“The stigmatization around drug use is so ingrained in our society, and it has been for the past century. Removing that, changing it, and challenging it really hits to the core of a lot of people’s beliefs. And minds don’t change that easily.”

While there has been a move for more advertising around getting help for those using drugs, Graham says the work still tends to fall on smaller groups.

“Yes, in order for us as a society to get better at having these conversations, that’s going to fall on the kind of grassroots movements to support the people who have the lived experience, and help them share their stories to hopefully change some minds and hearts,” he says, adding that this program came out of his practicum: Graham hopes to become a social worker.

“We at the Purpose Society are putting this together with the odds and ends of what we already have, and then all my practicum hours have been put into major amounts of research,” says Graham, who notes that there is no funding for the program—but he and the society are still extremely keen to put it on. Graham estimates the work he’s done putting together the program is significantly more than the 15 hours (on paper) each week since September, when the current semester began.

“Easily triple,” he notes.

As for why he wants to do this?

“I have a colleague here at Purpose who had lost both her father and brother [to an overdose]. She was a member of a support group for bereavement from overdose,” explains Graham, who adds that the group ended up being disbanded. When the executive director of the Purpose Society approached Graham, he felt it would be an absolute privilege.

“The purpose of this group is to not only help you reconnect and process some of your loss, but also to help people find meaning in life … moving forward with their grief, because finding meaning, happiness, and joy again is possible.”

The group will begin meeting on Monday, Dec. 5, and meetings take place from 6 to 8pm. If you’d like to learn more, visit Purpose Society’s website.